So many people walk in to our clinic with so many stories, actually every Infertility Patient brings a story with them. Some painful, some disturbing, some interesting while some outright outrageous. And the worst part is that the main ‘villain’ in most of the stories is a ‘woman‘, either the mother-in-law or elderly females in the family and neighborhood.
Over the years, many things have evolved. These ‘elderly women’ have no issues accepting things that are convenient for them, like mixer grinder in their kitchen for grinding masala or using refrigerator for convenience, but they a have huge issue accepting a daughter in law who does not get pregnant after a few months into her marriage. Instead of helping out the lady in distress their first reaction is to blame her.
Recently we had a patient in her thirties, with 9 years of marital life who was very depressed because of constant bickering from her in laws, where she was even being accused of being an ‘Eunuch’. After preliminary testing we found that her husband had Azoospermia. Imagine the plight of that lady ,who for no fault of hers had been constantly facing ill treatment from her inlaws.
This is why we need to understand, accept and finally embrace change. Things have changed, the food we eat has changed, the pollution levels in the air has changed, the age at which girls reach puberty, the stress levels in our lives, all have changed. So I think it’s high time we embrace this change and treat infertility like any other condition, and remove the ‘shame‘ associated with it. If one is not ashamed of being hypertensive, one should not be ashamed of suffering from Infertility. Yes, Infertility shall always remain a private affair but why hide like a fugitive.
It makes sense not to announce Infertility, but please do not make it so ‘hush hush’ that people prefer to suffer in silence instead of doing something about it. Treat it like any other condition and make it easier for these couples to seek early treatment.
Author @ Doel Bose